My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
