dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
