The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
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