with your own penis?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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