No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
