Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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