So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
