I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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