Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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