My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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