She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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