It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
