Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
