period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
