And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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