dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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