he wants to bone in the snuggie
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
