After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So much Jack, so little girl.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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