how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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