I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
