Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
farters have to be the big spoon...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's never too late to be topless.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
