paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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