Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
