whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize