I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
