Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
