She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
