i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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