the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
