Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I wish you could order shots online.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
