I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
