you mean i was at the winter classic?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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