So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We're too hungover to prance.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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