Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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