no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My ass is underappreciated
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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