that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
