This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
