They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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