Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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