Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize