Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
