My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
