absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
