me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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