So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
