My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
