I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
A bitchslap is in order.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
