I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I need moral support for this bender
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
