I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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