Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You've changed since you got that strap on
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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