I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
