I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My vagina is officially offended.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
