It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
