That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
