Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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