wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
