Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
