is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
