the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
