So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
