She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
