what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You're a waste of cheezeits
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
