I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
