1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
