32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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