Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
