Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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