i jhust puked up my retainher.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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