All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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