I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
