i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i came on her dog
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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