he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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