you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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